In The 70's around here

I am not talking about the weather....all though we have been in the 70's here..fall is around the corner. But in this case I am referring to my weight. I am in the 170's. I have recently broke into the photography business. I have been dabbling for two years now, but I have officially launched. I shot all day Wednesday. Shooting is a good workout. You would not think it, but I must do 200 squats while doing a shoot. I woke up so sore this morning! my legs were shaking as I stood up. I could barely walk down the stairs. When I went to get dressed I grabbed my fav jeans and found out that they were really baggy. Then I grabbed another pair of jeans and they were baggy too. I had just been on the scale the day before and it read 181. I felt smaller so I jumped on the scale and about died when it said 176. 5 lbs in one day! So my new workout routine. Fill up my photography calendar and shoot everyday. All 5 of those lbs were lost in my legs. I can feel it! My skinny jeans were even baggy. It was so funny. My girls were making fun of me because my pants kept falling off me all day. What a great feeling!!!!

Four Months

Here is my four month post, the pictures posted are from my 3 month mark (july 24th). I feel really great!!!! I was down to 179, but I jumped back up to 185 after a visit with my mother. We ate ice cream almost everyday. Warning, the band allows you to eat an unlimited amount of ice cream and drink soda...lots of dr. pepper while she was visiting. we were on the road a lot and I was exhausted and craved it so badly!!! I weighed 185 when these pics were taken so that is why I am posting them and I unfortunately did not get any at 179. but I will be there next month and hoping to be less. I am back on track. and to those that think that the weight can't come back with the band, this weight gain is proof that it can. be warned!!!

I am back on track. I am back to teaching my aerobics class at the church. It forces me to get at least three hours of intense workout three times a week. I was going to the gym a lot in July too. Maelee was at summer school and Delana was in Arizona. I just had my three daycare kids with me. and I am signed up to be able to take three kids at a time to the gym daycare. but for now I have 5 kids and my load is too big to be able to make it to the gym. Good news is that school starts in two weeks. I plan to hit the gym hard core. A good way to start my day and get strong. I have found a class there that I love!!! It is called Kangroo Jump. I took it three times in July and my legs got so strong and my butt actually shrunk. This is going to be the class that will help me shrink. I know it!!! I can't wait to get back to it!

here is a video of what kangaroo jump boots are. i want a pair but they are almost $300. I guess they are cheaper than buying a bike and I have never asked for or wanted a bike. We spent much more than that on Scott's bike. Maybe I will work up the courage to ask for a pair for Christmas. The gym has some public share ones, but yuk, it grosses me out everytime. we sweat like crazy in that class!!!

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Another great highlight.....I am officially out of the Plus Size Women's section in clothing. This is huge for me. I can't walk into any or all stores yet to shop. I can't wait for that....I am sure Scott can, I need to start saving now for the big shopping trip I want to go on when I hit a huge milestone mark. I am a misses size 14 right now. It feels so good. At my highest I was at a 20 women's size. Bye bye plus size. I love it! And I bought a pair of skinny jeans. I know I know....I am not skinny. but I love them. They are fun and funky and I wear a nice long shirt that helps me to cover my big butt and bulges. It is like wearing a pair of leggings. I love them and they look great paired with my classic black high top Chucks.

Can't wait to be able to post more pics. by the way, these were taken the night our family went to meet President Obama and Michelle at Scott's work. I hunted high and low for a new dress or outfit to wear. It was so much fun to shop. This was not my first choice, I first bought a really expensive dress at Macy's, but I took it back. I decided I did not want to spend that kind of money until I was smaller so I can wear it longer and enjoy it longer.

Almost 3 Months

I just realized in writing this that I am almost at my 3 month mark. It seems like just last month that I had my surgery, I feel like I should be much further along than I am. I have not lost any thing in the last month. I did get my first fill exactly a month ago. I don't think I have even written about that. I got 3.5 cc's of saline put into my band. I can not tell much of a difference in restriction. I was supposed to have my 2nd fill last week but my office is moving so it was canceled. It is rescheduled for July 27th. Most people in my support group said that they did not feel any restriction until their 3rd fill. So I was prepared to not feel too much restriction after my first fill. I really am looking forward to my next fill.

I have bumped up my exercise. I feel better. My body feels stronger. I gave a talk at my church this past Sunday this past Sunday on the subject of the body being a Temple. I talked a lot about exercise and I motivated myself to work harder. So like I said, not much difference on the scale yet so I have not taken any new pics of me

I do have one positive story I wanted to share. I ran into an friend that I had not seen in a year the other night. The first thing she said was "you have lost so much weight. you look so great!" it really made me feel better. Sometimes i feel like people who say that to me say it just because they know I should be losing weight because of the surgery, but not because I really look any different. So it made me feel good to have someone that had no idea that I even had surgery be able to tell a difference.

6 weeks and 24lbs down

The Day of surgery at the hospital. I knew it was official when I was sitting in the pre op room and saw my name on the board. I still could not believe that the day had finally come.

Day of surgery above and 6 weeks below

Day of surgery above and 6 weeks below

Day of surgery above

The camera battery died today before we could get a picture of my behind today. But I assure you that it is no smaller. Maelee keeps saying "Mom, I thought you had surgery to be skinny, but your butt is still fat."

This picture was taken while bowling with the family at my 5 week mark. I think this is first picture that has been taken of me in a long time that I did not hate. My face is still chubby, but I don't feel disgusted when I look at it. (that is Maelee's gang sign she is throwing up. Everytime we take a picture she says "$4 Yo!"

It has been 6 weeks since surgery. I am 24 lbs down. 15 of that was in the first week. So in 5 weeks I lost 9 lbs. That is about right on target. The goal is 1 to 2 lbs per week.......would I love more, Yeah, but who wouldn't? People keep asking for pics. When you have as much as I do to lose 24 lbs is not very much. It is just a drop in the bucket. I can't tell a difference yet. I did not want to take pics yet, but I am sure in the end I will like looking back at the changes and different stages of the loss. People say they can tell a difference in my face. I could tell a little difference in my face in a picture Scott took of me and the girls at the bowling alley.

So I am 24lbs down and a whopping 76 more to go....urghhh!! at 1 to 2 lbs a week it will take close to another year and a half. I want it tomorrow. But when I look at it at month to month and think by the end of the summer I could be close to 50 lbs down I feel pretty good about that possibility. Little steps and little goals. Right now my goal is to buy a pair of these jeans I found. I am going to a concert with my friend Maranda June 26th and I am hoping to buy a pair by then for the concert. I don't even care if I only fit into them for a month or two or three, I just need to set these little goals for myself to keep myself going.

Mile Stone

I hit a big mile stone this morning. I am under 200lbs. I am 199. I have not been under 200 since fall of 2007. I can't tell a difference yet in my body. 18lbs is only a drop in the bucket when you have as much to lose as I do. But it felt good to get on the scale this morning and not see a 2. Still no pics I think I will take and post pics every month. So I will post on the 20th of May. The before and after.

18 days in

It has been 18 days now. This is how it has gone....
first week down 15 lbs.
second week down 2 lbs.
third week...so far...gained a lb.

How do I feel. I am very very very hungry. I know I am not eating all that I should. I am having a hard time getting my two protein shakes in. Time gets by me. I am really hungry. I don't quite get hunger pains, but I want to eat. I want to do the snacking and eat something good and chew it!!!!

Really how do I feel besides hungry???? I did not expect to feel so emotional. I am so cranky, emotional, and irritable. My kids and husband are being very patient with me. Scott keeps saying "eat a cheeseburger already and lighten up!!!" I find myself crying over everything. I have a friend that had the surgery and she said I must be mourning food. I think I am. I am learning that my life is pretty pathetic! the only thing I had to look forward to must have been meals. Explains how i got over 200lbs. and now I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I need to find something in my life to look forward to. Food was my best friend and now I am looking for a new one.

3rd Day In

I had my surgery Monday and today is Thursday. The surgery went well. I woke up in some pain. There is a gas pain that some people get in their left shoulder. I was prepared for it and sure enough I woke up with it. The first thing I said was "oh no, i got "the pain"' I woke up in recovery and i had a mask on for oxygen and I ripped it off. The nice nurse told me that I needed to keep it on and I said "slightly claustrophobic." He laughed and gave me a oxygen nose tube instead. My belly hurts. I got dry heaves my first day and it hurt so bad!!! that so far was the worst thing of all of this.

I have been resting and sleeping most of the day. I have weighed myself already. Scott thinks I am crazy for doing it, but I had to see. I have already lost 13 lbs. Yay!!! I am hoping to be under 200 lbs by the end of the week.

What am I eating? I am eating sugar free low fat vanilla yogurt, chicken broth, jello, and protein shakes. I eat three meals a day and two protein shakes, or at least I am supposed to. I have not been able to eat all of that in one day yet. My nutritionist called this morning to check on me and I told her I have not been able to fit it all in and she lectured me. So I am doing good today so far.

What am I doing besides sleeping? Walking. Walks make me feel much better. I am up to 20 minute walks. I am going to be at 30 minutes by Saturday. The walks help the gas pains.

I am feeling good and can't wait to see the scale move more!!!!

Liquid Diet

Tomorrow is the big day. I have been on a liquid diet for the past two days. What have I eaten, hardly anything...

hot water mixed with the packets from top ramen noodles. (had that twice)

strained chicken noodle soup, so basically just chicken broth. As I was straining it I kept thinking "canned chicken noodle soup has never looked so good". I wanted to eat those noodles and carrots.

and that was all I ate. lots of water and sugar free lemonade.

What was my last meal? Sukara Japanese steak house. One of the hardest things to eat after a band is rice. So I went and ate my last rice dish with lobster and scallops. It was so yummy. Then I topped it off with a bunch of twizzlers and oreos and cherry dr. pepper. It was all so yummy!

My life changes tomorrow. I have taken my before picture. I will post it when I am ready to post my first "after" picture.

Two More Days....

So I just have two more days until surgery. I go in at 8am Monday morning. I can't wait. I am very nervous for this weekend.....all clear liquid diet. Jello and broth and that will actually be my diet for the next two weeks. I am most nervous for this weekend though. I am having my last big feast tonight. Don't know what it will be, but I am sure oreos will be involved and a dr. pepper.

I will post before pic on Monday or Sunday. an official before shot. Then hopefully my next post after that will be of my good news progress report. I am just so glad this day is coming finally. It has been a long wait, but I know it will be all be worth it.

Before Pics.....

I have been browsing around on some support groups and found some great before and after pics of people that have had success with their surgery. I am so motivated by their before and after pics. I can't wait to have some great after pics, for now I am going to post some terrible before pics so some will see why I am so urgent to have the surgery:

that is my big gut......I had some gross butt shots too but I will spare you!

It is Approved and it is Official!!!!

The office called on the 23rd and said they would send my packet into insurance, despite my elevated thyroid levels. My last post stated that I thought my surgery would not get approved because of it. I had not heard back from the surgeons office since February 23rd so I was getting very nervous as to why I had not heard back. I kept thinking "no news is bad news" instead of the other way around.

I emailed my mediator/liaison on Friday and asked how long it takes to hear back from tricare for approval. She said the average is two weeks. I told her it had been three weeks and she said not to worry, give it another week or two. Urghhh!!!

So I got online and emailed some of my banded buddies on two support groups that I belong to. I asked if anyone had tricare and how long it takes to hear back from them....I got a bunch of replies and read some posts that it only took four days to a week to hear back and get a date.....urghhhh again!!!!!

So I called the office today and asked what the status of my approval was. They said that they were waiting for some labs to be done, my thyroid and pylori tests....I laughed in frustration! I said that I had already had the tests done and that the lasts time we talked it was in reference to my test results. I asked if they had sent the packet in or not. She said wait a minute, turned a page in my file and said, "oh yeah, it was sent in and you were approved. we will keep your date of April 20th if that is fine with you." Wow!!! I am approved and have an official date!!! yay!! Anyone who has kept up with my blog knows how long I have been waiting for this.

The part I am most looking forward to the week of my surgery is to be with Scott. He is out of town for a month, then I am leaving town, then he is leaving town, then I leave town again. We will not be reunited until April 19th. Then he is going to take the week off for my surgery. I am looking forward to being with him that week. And very much looking forward to the change this will make in my life.

I will be in Arizona before my surgery and I will need to start my liquid diet while I am there. My mom plans to do it with me. I know she is nervous for me to get the surgery and wants me to try to do this on my own without surgery, so it means a lot to me that she is going to support me while I am visiting her.

April 20th.......Only 35 days away!!!!!

Might Not Happen

I know I just post good news about April 20th, but now it might not happen. I just got a call from the surgeon's office and my lab work did not come back so great. My thyroid is not functioning right. I have to see my family Dr. before they will progress any further. I am ready to give up and just not do it. So much time and money invested. I am so tired. It has been a huge emotional roller coaster. What should I do now?

April 20th?????

I got my 2nd opinion on my psych consult and it went great, despite the kind of day I was having. I have been extremely emotional these past two months because of some events that have taken place in the last two months. So every time I get in the car by myself I start to cry as my mind thinks about tragedy, death and loss. When I dropped my kids off with my friend to watch so I could go to my psych appointment, I told her I was going to listen to only fun uplifting music on my drive and repeat positive thoughts so when I arrived for my appointment I would be calm and not walk in with blood shot eyes from crying. My plan almost worked. when arrived in the parking lot at the Dr's office I got some really bad news about the death of my nephews' father. I was so sad for them and almost left the parking lot and just drove home. I knew there was no way I could go into the office in the state I was in. But I went ahead and went in. I knew I needed to just get this done. I had shuffled the kids off to different houses and the dr's was a little trip away, I had to just go in and hope for the best that I would pass my psych consult. So I disclosed all info to the dr as soon as I entered his office because he could tell I was emotional. He asked if I wanted to reschedule, I told him rescheduling was way too hard for me and asked him to just go through it and hope that I could compose myself. We got through it and he was very nice! He was very patient and understanding of my situation and passed me with flying colors.

I called the surgeons office a few days later to tell them to throw out the first psych consult and make sure only the 2nd one got sent in. They said they never even got a first one. That dr. I first saw three months ago never even sent in her eval.....what a flake. She was very weird. She was more concerned with billing when I met with her. She kept talking about how she was going to bill it to the insurance as two appointments because it takes her an hour to write up the eval. she seemed to just be doing it for the money and not really to help people.

I asked the office when they thought I would hear back from them about insurance approval and get a surgery date. They told me my packet was incomplete........What????? incomplete? I thought I was done! They said I had two blood tests that had to be submitted. But they did give me some good news. They said that they would be me on the calendar for April 2oth then that way when I got my blood tests done and they heard back from insurance with a yes then I would have a date already. So I went and got my blood tests a week ago and I am anxiously awaiting a phone call from the surgeons office. Then I will go for some more pre op tests and appointments and my surgeory will happen on April 20th!!! Yay!!! Scott has already asked work for that week off. We are being very hopeful. And we are already making plans for what we want to do that week that he is off as I am recovering. We are planning to watch all of the episodes of Lost from beginning to current. We love that show and have followed it from the beginning but we are LOST right now and need a refresher course.

Last night I was at the store with Scott and had my eye on a few swimsuits I liked that hopefully by the end of summer I will not look too terrible in. Hopefully by August I might feel comfortable pool side. I hope!!!

Jumped Through My Last Hoop

So my final hoop to jump through has been my psych eval. I had posted last time that I had an appointment in early December that I had an appointment. I had that appointment but I did not fully pass. I passed, but I made the mistake of mentioning that I am worried about my husband. I have a few issues with saying no to his food plus a few other things. So the therapist recommended a couples therapy session before she recommended I get the surgery. I was not too worried about it. So I set up a session with a nice lady I had seen before. I asked her receptionist if she saw couples and she said yes. So Scott and I went off to our appointment. The counselor was put off by my request and let me know that she does not work with couples. I guess our insurance only has one family therapist on one base in our area and it is a four month waiting list to get in with her/him. (mmm....no wonder there is such a high divorce rate in the military.) I left really frustrated and ready to throw in the towel.

I talked to my surgeon consultant and she told me in all of her years of scheduling appointments that she has never heard of someone being told to have couples therapy before surgery. I told her what our issues were. She said they were no big deal and to just get a 2nd opinion and start over with a new psych consult. I spent an entire day on the phone calling my approved list of therapists. I left about 10 messages around town. I finally heard back from one. I went to my appointment today and it feels so good to get it done. This one went really well. He said he will get the paperwork in by Friday. I am hoping to get a call from the surgeon within two weeks with a surgery date and my date will be around one month from then. I can not wait to get the call!!!! So I am guessing my surgery will be in about 6 weeks. I can not wait. It has been exactly a year since I was referred for the surgery by my nutritionist. It has been a long year. Lots of hurdles and hoops but I have jumped through them all.